


A small problem

by Picasso25



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, If you still around read the tags before you go ballistics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-06 05:32:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Picasso25/pseuds/Picasso25
Summary: Thanos is coming, ladies and gents!Sooo, what happens?





	1. You get my drift

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of us have had problems with a little troll lately.  
> Not that I wasn't annoyed -After all, I don't go over to Team Cap fics to shit in the comments- but strangely, it also inspired a story.  
> If that troll is still around, I'm sure the twerp is going to HATE it.
> 
> What a lovely feeling.

Thanos was coming.

Thanos was coming, and there were too many warnings to sweep them under the rug like SHIELD had done in the past: The Guardians of the Galaxy landed on top of the UN building to deliver theirs, the Asgardian refugees landed in Norway, Captain Marvel received messages from the Krees... The sorcerers of KamarTaj came out of isolation to add their voices.

Nobody was thrilled about it, not that it mattered much since the most optimistic evaluation put Thanos fleet at about five Terran years... Probably less.

Earth population reacted as maturely as one would expect in our day and age. Descending promptly into hysteria, that is. Most religious leaders already had problems with the existence of aliens, they were not exactly ready to face extinction. At least not THAT way... They all had their own brand of the stuff to keep the faithful in line, but that wasn't in the book! (any of them, really)  
The super rich, always in solidarity with their fellow man, discreetly contacted SI to build spaceship(s) ASAP. Pepper recorded that conversation while Tony helpfully directed them to Hammer, so that was bound to end well.

Then someone in the media unearthed Tony's declaration after the New York invasion, the one everybody had conveniently forgotten about. So OF COURSE the shit storm had to land on his doorstep.

The Tony Stark that showed up at that press conference was not amused, and made it known immediately:

"Alright, I've got something to say, and for once you're going to listen. Six years ago, when I told you... And when I say you, it's not an image, most of you were actually in the room... What I'd seen beyond that portal, I was called just about everything from paranoid to attention whore, and more or less politely told to shut up. Don't you even DARE to open your mouth, Everhart, since you sorta led the charge.  
Oh, and since you're there, I guess I should apologize for you worming yourself in my bed not having the desired effect of me stupidly trusting your sorry ass, but you weren't the first to try that, if the last. At least none of the others made me the culprit of their own duplicity, so there's that, I suppose.  
Now, back to the subject at hand.  
I'm busy. Trying to save that planet, on my own, like I have done for years now, except I now have a very short deadline. I'm out of patience and out of time. What I have in abundance, however, is lawyers.  
So, new rules: No more playing nice, no more letting you toe the line or worse, no more painting me as a borderline villain and holding me responsible for things I don't even know about. Starting this minute, you print one word out of line, I'll sue your asses. Capisce?”

No one moved. Some members of the press who did not have a very clear conscience barely breathed. Tony gave a brief nod and left. Pepper stayed a bit, studying the room and Everhart in particular. She had gone from the red of humiliation to the white of fury, and was bound to try something stupid soon.  
Good. In that particular case, Pepper Potts didn't mind taking out the trash once more.

Thanos was coming.

Politics, as usual, didn't stop. It went both good and bad ways. As a whole, once people realized there was no way out even for the richest and most powerful, it actually improved things. Nothing like a common enemy to unite people. Oh, some tyrants tried to take advantage, sure, but the thing with tyrants is that there's almost always a would-be tyrant in waiting just behind them, so a few unsavory people had some deadly "accidents". Oops.  
On the other hand, civil rights and minorities problems got showed to the back burner, as Earth got on a war footing.

Thanos was coming.

Mutants and a lot of enhanced people made themselves known to the UN, most of them volunteering to defend the planet according to their capacities. The Sokovian Accords got a massive workout... As did a platoon of lawyers to refine them.  
But they held, and so did the UN. Often mocked as useless, usually by countries forgetting to pay their due, it was given its opportunity to shine, and didn't let it pass. This was a global threat and they were the global organization to deal with it.  
As such, the UN was the one to grant temporary amnesty to supervillains... Provided they signed the Accords for the duration. This was surprisingly popular, not only with the general population, but with said supervillainss.  
I guess if you want to rule the world, it's better if the thing is still here when you get down to it.  
Anyhow, it was understood that once the threat was over, it would be back to business as usual, but in the meantime, it was better to unite forces.

Thanos was coming.

One small group was thrilled, however. It was just what they'd more or less been waiting for, the opportunity to come back and be heroes again... On their terms.  
Because Earth needed them, the Avengers.

Thanos was coming and Steven Rogers contacted the UN.


	2. At the UN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone received Rogers letter.  
> Considering the past example of "Cap" prose, I guess you can easily deduce how it went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm slightly foggy on how the UN works. But for the purpose of this fic, it's not that important... Anyway, I guess the rise in power with Thanos coming changed a lot of things anyway.  
> So, have a pair of OCs setting up Rogers for a world of pain.

The Honorable lady Honoria Granville was not a happy camper. 

She was also one of the UK delegate at the UN, one that had gotten saddled with the Sokovian Accords from the get go. It certainly had not been a favor at the time, but what the other (male) delegates had under estimated, was Lady Granville ability to make do with just about any rotten situation.  
After all, she'd managed to survive 40 years of marriage with Lord Granville, who'd had the peculiar characteristic to be an extremely successful member of the House of Lords... And an unbestedd imbecile.

Thankfully, her son took after her, so maybe they would be able to wash that out of the bloodline.

Anyhow, Lady Honoria had made a career of being the power behind the veil, so when the old fool died, instead of being the dowager, she went for a second career at the UN.  
It had turned far better than she could have hoped.  
Mutants and enhanced humans were getting more numerous all the time, and that was just fine.  
Her old fool of a husband had wanted to stop change, and being against everything from gays to civil rights to mutants... As if his opinion would change anything.  
He was just so constantly wrong it was like a compass of stupidity... Since he had been opposed to the Sokovian Accords just before his death, Lady Honoria had given them her all.

And it had turned perfectly alright.

Since the duo debacle of "Captain" America and General Ross, one a fugitive terrorist and the other in jail from charges ranging from embezzlement to torture, the Accord Council had become one of the more powerful branch of the organization... And she was heading it.  
She permitted herself a very small smirk. She'd been a compromise: The US had been in deep kimchee, but they weren't going to let Russia or China head the Council without a fight. A United Kingdom delegate... And an old Lady to boot, had seemed a safe choice.

How wrong they had been.

Lady Honoria Granville had the full support of her Majesty Elizabeth II, who, has per usual, had adapted with the times and was breathing down the neck of her ministers.  
And she had promptly shown Mr Antonov and Pei that you underestimated little old ladies at your own risks... Not to mention the colonials.  
All in all, at close to eighty years old, Lady Granville was one of the most powerful women on Earth.

"I'm not letting you having tea alone with Pepper" That young Stark had said with a smirk "That's World domination material right there." He had a twinkle in his eyes when he said that.  
Honoria had liked the twinkle... It reminded her of that young gardener at her father's estate when... erm! No matter.

 

But right now, The Honorable Lady Granville was thinking she hadn't been that insulted for a long time. She put her glasses back on and re-read that... Letter. Note. Thing.

 

"Dear Mrs Granville (It's Lady Granville to you, you uneducated lout)  
As we are all aware (not thanks to you), another Alien threat is on its way to our planet (Tell me something I don't know).  
You need the Avengers to protect it and all the people, as we did in New York (No you didn't, Stark did... and you've done a bang up job since).  
I do understand (how generous of you) that you felt like the Heroes needed some sort of supervision since we had a few incidents (between the DC, Lagos, Bucharest, hundreds of deaths.. Those are incidents?), but you must see that this changes everything. (No it doesn't)  
The Avengers will be happy to take back their place (let me guess: living on Stark property, on his money, without doing a lick of work to sustain yourself. I'm sure you would be happy.) as Earth Heroes as soon as the Accords are rolled back. (....)  
I'm sure you will be relieved to be close to your family, children and grandchildren, in those trying times. (And what? Making preserves? My son is busy, so is his wife... And their children have school and nannies. Really!)  
Cordially yours  
Captain America (We should never have let those colonies run amok)

 

"Honoria dear, did you just hiss?" The amused voice belonged to one of her favorite person in the council, Guy de Barrenpied.  
French, of course. Good looking, very well-dressed, impeccable taste and manners.

Aside from that, no morals whatsoever, a tongue like a razor if needed. And ruthless to boot, which was a quite hidden quality in French aristocracy.  
Generations of going after and marrying heiresses to try to keep the family "chateau" intact had created a definite type. Very suited to diplomacy, actually. 

So, Revolution notwithstanding, his type prospered in places like the EU, World Bank and all sorts of alphabet soup organizations where lies and elegant backstabbing were considered an art form. And, these days, the UN, of course. As it rose in power with the latest events, it had attracted some very qualified players. Loki was having a ball.

 

"That man is trying to blackmail the UN! The gall!"

"That man?"

"Here. Read."

As Guy made short work of the note and went back a bit more slowly, his eyebrows climbed steadily to join his hairline (quite a feat, actually)

"Oh dear, oh dear... He really does not know who he is talking to, does he? So, my dear, are we going to still pretend we don't know they're lazing it in Wakanda?"

"Well... Oh, Goddarnit, Guy, you know why. Even if we strong armed king T'Challa..."

"AKA the Black Panther..."

"Into giving back his "guests", what would we do with them afterwards? It's not as if we have the means to hold them, and anyway, I don't want to divert the resources."

"Mmmm... Yes, it's an enhanced persons' problem."

"Yes. The only person who could build the tech to hold them is Stark... And I am NOT going to ask that man to house his would be murderers again."

The pair of professional diplomats exchanged a look: Not only was Stark vital for Earth's defense. But no one wanted to take on Pepper Potts... not anyone with brains. What had happened to that journalist had not been pretty.

"Agreed. We probably don't need them. Certainly not like they think we do... But on the other hand, we can't have them running around without supervision. Unwise and probably unsanitary."

"On the other hand..." Honoria said slowly as an idea was taking form. Guy smiled internally, as he knew her well: The Honorable was having a dishonorable idea and needed just a little push to go with it... He would be happy to provide.

"Oui?"

"As you said, it IS an enhanced problem... And we now have quite of number of people who signed the Accords. They even have delegates..." Lady Granville mused. Guy de Barrenpied was a bit confused at first, but then he got it. His eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Yes my dear, they do have delegates. I'll try to keep one of the auditoriums free for the near future, shall I? "Closed for repairs" or something like that?"

"That would be lovely." Lady Honoria answered with an angelic smile. "Now, do you know where I can find Mr Laufeyson?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never, and I mean NEVER underestimate an old british lady.  
> exhibit N°1: Miss Marple.
> 
> Oh yes, there's going to be Hell to pay.


	3. In Wakanda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, what happened in Wakanda?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "let them try" thing got me irritated.  
> Okay, Marvel, governing is NOT a dick waving contest. Or shouldn't be, at any rate.

Steve groaned as he was feeling a bit woodsy... Come to think of it, he couldn't remember the previous evening very well. Weird, it felt like he'd drunk too much. Not a feeling he was familiar with.  
First he'd been too young, then he'd been too sickly, and after the serum, alcohol had not done much to and for him. Steve had then sort of decided to view any sort of alcohol consumption as a moral weakness.  
One of the reasons he could never fully trust Tony...

Oh, it was coming back now: They were having a meeting with T'Challa on how to reinstate the Avengers, when the little sister had showed up with a few of the Dora Mi...something (Steve guessed it was a rank of sort, but hadn't inquired further. He supposed they were decorative enough as a king's entourage, even if they didn't smile much) and some traditional beverage they should all be having on this day... Something about Bast.

Not that it was important, since, you know, Bast was only a local superstition, but Steve knew how to be polite and downed the full cup as instructed.  
The rest was very blurry before fading to black.

If Rogers, or any of the Exvengers for that matter, had stayed awake, they would have witnessed a very tense conversation between T'Challa and his sister.

"What? You dare to drug the king's guests? Shuri, you're my sister but this is going too far. You will stay confined in your rooms till I know what to do with you. Okoye, escort the princess."

Neither woman moved.

"What is this? A rebellion?"

"Brother, you're operating on the assumption that you are still king of Wakanda. I am afraid you are wrong on that."

"What are you talking about?" T'Challa was confused, but getting irritated. Shuri had never liked Rogers and his friends, but this was taking it too far.

"Did you really think the UN didn't know you housed that bunch? Truly brother, how naive do you think they are? You know that's one of the reasons father wanted us to reunite with the world: Isolation had protected us, but it was making us arrogant. And he was right."

"Shuri, you know that's not..."

"Let them try, brother? They did. It was not difficult to guess where the rogues had gone... People outside Wakanda do have the technology to track a quinjet, T'Challa. They just let it go because as long as they stayed here and outside of the grown-ups hair, nobody cared.  
But now they're making noises to "come back to their rightful place"... And no one wants that. So, since it's the UN, they went through official channels..."

"But..."

"Yes, they sent a message to the Council. Everybody was overjoyed to learn that one of your first decision as king was to make Wakanda a terrorists' sanctuary. Did you forget some of us died in Lagos?"

T'Challa sighed "No. You told me often enough."

"Well, maybe you should have listened." Shuri's voice had turned trenchant "Anyhow, T'Challa, you've been deposed."

"They can't do that." T'Challa was simply shocked, but Shuri just shrugged.

"Brother, you know better: They can if it is a unanimous decision. The Council listened to the Dora Milaje testimony of your actions since father's death and were not impressed by it. Don't look at them like that, T'Challa. They serve Wakanda, not you personally. Or did you forget that too? How convenient."

"So, who's king now? You?" Shuri was not sure she liked her brother's attitude.

"Oh, because that is so far off left field that Wakanda could be ruled by a woman it's not even possible, right? Well, maybe the Council evolved faster than you and decided to give it a chance. You can be Black Panther, I don't think I need to grapple my way to the throne to be a good ruler."

"But you're too young!"

"We'll see. The Council decided to adjoin me advisers till I reach my majority."

"That's not how things are done! There are traditions!"

"Traditions are just the way we're used to doing things, brother. They're not law. It might be better this way. To be honest, brother, I would be hard put to do worse than you did those past two years. Wakanda is more isolated than ever now: Europeans are furious about you sheltering terrorists, our neighbors are beginning to realize how prosperous we really are in our isolationism and they don't like it much... And the USA would be happy to crucify us very publicly to have some heat off themselves in the Captain America disaster. We have no allies."

"Does it matter? We had no allies before and we prospered, didn't we?"

"T'Challa, why do you say you supported father when your every word show you don't? Would you sacrifice all he worked for to shelter that group of murderers?" Shuri studied her brother face and sighed "The UN gave us a choice: Either we ensure the ExVengers can't leave Wakanda, however we want to achieve this..."

"Or?"

"Or we deliver them to the delegation that will come to pick them up."

"And if we refuse?"

"They will come to pick them up. Don't say it, T'Challa... The UN would send the likes of Loki, Magneto or Doom. Do you really think we would have a chance?" When only silence answered her question, Shuri continued "I chose, and the council chose, to deliver them to the UN. It may be able to build us back a little goodwill in the international community."

"And sergeant Barnes?"

"As long as he is in cryo, nobody cares. At least for the time being." Shuri amended "I got the impression from the French delegate that the UN cared more about potential damage control than anything else anyway. T'Challa, I'm sorry... But for the good of Wakanda..."

"Of course, my Queen." T'Challa said tersely. He bowed, and then left in direction of his own rooms. Shuri sighed, and exchanged a look with Okoye. It's not as if she had wanted to unseat her brother. It's just... T'Challa had always been brilliant, and the eldest, and a boy... he hadn't had to eat that much humble pie in his life.  
He'd been the heir, AND the black panther.  
No one had seen, maybe no one had wanted to see that he had problems ruling his emotions: He either tried too hard to contain them, or he was swamped by them. Not his fault, but a liability in a ruler.  
When one was on a throne, one could not afford to lose one's head.

Loki had made abundantly clear, as he took over the negotiations for the ExVengers transfer, that Wakanda was in a precarious position. When Shuri had wondered at his knowledge, the answer had been short and to the point:  
"Asgard too thought they were superior to all. Now it's gone, the golden heir is begging refugee status to people his father considered little more than goats, and the other realms, who were supposedly so loyal to Asgard, didn't lift a finger. Do you see the resemblance?"

Of course, she had, and as Queen, she wasn't going to sacrifice her people for a bunch of self-serving individuals. Wakanda had to prepare for the global threat, too.

"Okoye, would you please have them bundled up and prepare for the transfer to the UN transport?"

Okoye nodded firmly, and the other Doras stood a mite straighter. Yes. It was the right thing to do: The ExVengers belonged to the world, let them deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't that better than "yeah! Try to nuke us from orbit if you dare!" ?
> 
> So, kitty cat is going to sulk somewhere (because boys do), and be suitably heroic later, I suppose. good.


	4. And it begins!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, where are the Exvengers and what's going to happen to them?

No, really, Steve was feeling a bit woodsy. The bed he was lying on was quite hard, and there was so much noise! Just like a crowd of people were in his bedroom or something?  
Memory came back like a kick in the ass, and he opened his eyes.

First thing he saw were his friends, groaning and blinking and being visibly uncomfortable. Poor Wanda was looking very unhappy, which someone, preferably Tony, would have to apologize for.

As they started moving around, the noise increased quite a bit and Steve looked up. He felt his eyes grow wide as he took in what could only be termed a colorful assembly.

They were in an auditorium of sort, and the people seated there ranged from the almost mundane to the frankly bizarre: There was a blue glowing guy apparently wearing little to no clothing people stayed at a safe distance from, a lot of weirdly colored hair... Not even mentioning what they were wearing... Or not, he amended privately as he spotted a curvy redhead wearing mostly a strategically placed rope of ivy.  
The woman caught his eyes, smiled, and blew him a kiss. As he promptly looked elsewhere, he heard the low, sensual and mocking laugh.

Steve began to see some sort of pattern. The right side of the crowd looked somewhat quiet and well-mannered, and then it got rowdier and rowdier as his eyes traveled to the left.  
As he looked on, a few impromptu fistfights happened at the extreme left, mostly between a maniacally laughing green haired guy and his immediate neighbors.

"YOU!!"

That was Clint, white with fury, looking behind Steve. As he turned around, he was greeted with poison green eyes and a smile with somehow too many teeth.

"Loki?!"

"Well, yes. I congratulate you on your famed gift of perception, my dear Captain." Irony was dripping from every word as the trickster leaned back comfortably in the Speaker's armchair. On his right was a bald individual in a wheelchair and on his left a massively armored guy with a green cape.

"I'm going to kill you!!"

"Why is it that I am cursed to deal with idiots all the time?" Loki sighed; Then every trace of amusement vanished "No you won't, angry little man."

"You mind controlled me!"

"I don't see what you're so angry about, you obviously like it" The trickster countered as his eyes slid to Wanda "Besides, you can't have it both ways: Either being mind controlled exonerates us both, or neither. I'll be generous and will not throw in that the fact that you weren't tortured into submission, that I barely touched you with the scepter... And that you took it like a duck to water... Which says a ton about your previous employers, by the way."

"Doom has better things to do than re chewing old soup... However entertaining that may be."

"As usual, you're the voice of wisdom, Dr Doom." Loki gracefully nodded before retaking the floor, ignoring Barton sputtering in fury down below like yesterday's garbage "So, to today's agenda, then. I take it all of you received my mail with the attached letter Captain America here sent to the UN?"

There was a general murmur of agreement as Steve's team looked at him in surprise... Which was not lost on a grinning Loki.

"Oh, so the so honest and righteous Captain Rogers forgot to tell you? Here, let me repair that oversight." The Trickster snapped is fingers and the letter wrote itself on the wall, long enough for anyone to read it.  
"So, now everybody is all more or less on the same page, let's get to the questions we are all here to answer: Do we take this blackmailer and his followers in our alliance, and if not, what to do with them?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, short chapter, but I needed to set the action. Now that everybody is in one place, funny things will start happening, I promise!


	5. In or out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, are the rogues going to find somewhere to land?

Steve was outraged "I'm no blackmailer!!"

One black eyebrow climbed up "You didn't write this letter?"  
Steve didn't see the point of answering a supervillain's questions, so he crossed his arms and clamped his mouth shut.

"C'mon Cap" a voice he knew all too well drawled "I'm sure with a little bit of effort, you can tell the truth for once in your life."

A lot of things happened at once: Tony emerged from a portal with the hulk and a guy who obviously shared his shaving tastes... and a furiously wriggling bundle of red fabric.

"Tony!"

Clint started shouting insults as Wanda's hands glowed red and then sent a crimson wave toward Stark. Tony's bearded clone lifted an eyebrow, gestured with his hand, and the power bounced... and veered toward Loki, who caught it.  
As it turned to green, the Trickster drawled "Well now, isn't this interresting?"  
At the same time, the red package took flight, landed on the other side of the stage, and unwrapped himself sharply, throwing a human form accross the stage, sending the ExVengers to the floor.

"Strike!" The green haired maniac with the clown make-up yelled. There were wistles, a few catcalls, and even some polite golf clap from the more well behaved side of the room. The piece of fabric took a victory pose and bowed as Natasha stood up and yelled at it in Russian, which only prompted what could only be termed a very rude gesture, eliciting laughter from the assistance.  
Then the weird piece of fabric floated to settle as a cape on the magician shoulders, highfiving a laughing Tony on the way.

Steve started loudly protesting, and he was not the only one as various complains and insults were thrown in Stark's direction. What was even more infuriating was that the billionaire didn't seem to care.

Like, not at all. He even (badly) covered a small yawn

So Steve pressed on. Tony was a handfull, but he was not stupid. He was just not listening, so if Steve repeated it often enough, it would finally dawn on him he'd been wrong and he would apologize.Steve made several forays in that direction before running to the end of his argumentation. Clint and Wanda also ran out of insults and stopped, panting.

The whole room was silent for a few moments.

"Well, that was at least informative" the bald cripple said quite tartly "Are they always like that?"

"More or less." Tony answered drily. One corner of the cape floated up to pat his arm consolingly.

"Tony! Must you be so petty?!"

"Petty?" A harsh voice answered as a caped man in black armor stood up "Correct me if I'm wrong: Tony Stark housed you, fed you, transported you, provided gear and what can only be called pocket money. In exchange, you ridiculed, assaulted, betrayed and finally tried to kill him. And HE is the one who's petty? How delusional are you?"

"Stark OWED us! He killed my parents!"

"No he didn't. At worst, Stark Industries, a weapon manufacturer, sold stuff to a country that was engaged in a CIVIL war. So what? Happens all the time. YOU certainly killed more people knowingly than Stark, you little Hydra bitch" Another audience member snapped, eliciting a somewhat calming gesture from one of the speakers

"Don't bother, Eric. She knows all that perfectly well. It's just a great excuse to do whatever she wants."

"Ah. I thought that might be it."

"Wanda's a good kid! She was just misguided and needs another chance." Steve said as he went to stand near the girl in support. The other man, with metal helmet and cape (what is it with those people and capes? Steve muttered. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Tony's clone attire giving him the finger. ), who was going to sit down, stood straight again.

"A child? That, Mr Rogers, is NOT a child, it's a grown woman. And I happen to know people in Sokovia, the Maximoffs twins are infamous there. But I guess, well, we all know that you didn't bother making inquiries before welcoming the Hydra assassins with open arms, now did you?"

"You don't know her!"

"Neither do you, I gather. And I know enough. You see, Mr Rogers, while you were making a name for yourself by prancing on stage and punching a fake Hitler in the face, I was experimented on by those people in an extermination camp. The fact that the Maximoff twins volunteered for THAT tells me all I want to know about them." The man sat down this time, which was good as far as Steve was concerned: He hated it when anyone referred to his dancing monkey days... It was so much NOT who he was!

Loki banged the Speaker's hammer a few times. "Gentlemen! ... and ladies... We are losing track here, and the UN will need an answer from us. Do we take these people in or not?"

"No" The woman sported a glorious mane of black hair held in place by golden circlet and was wearing an armor of sorts.

"Miss Pryce? May I know your reasons?"

"They are despicable people. Of all of us here, they are the only ones who tried to take advantage of the incoming menace to bargain some gains for themselves. Even the global destruction of this Earth was not enough to get them out of their... temper tantrum. I would NOT trust any of those roaches half a second on the battlefield."

There was a general murmur of agreement at that, especially from the right side of the room, and Loki turned to the other side, who was also conferring amongst themselves before the Goblin took flight on one of his platforms over the group.

"Nah. We could get over the moral reasons, as we all know, but not the practical ones: We can't have them in our lairs. If there's one thing we can reproach Stark, it's that he didn't housetrain his pets..."

"On the other hand, I thought I was dealing with adults there. My bad." Tony admitted.

"Point. But nonetheless; they've proven time and time again that they not only can't be trusted, but that they can't be left without surpervision without peeing on carpets or worse, and we're all going to be very busy in the next months or so. Nobody here signed the Accords to become nanny to a bunch of spoiled toddlers, and Miss Poppins can't be joined these days. So, no."

"But we're the Avengers! You need us!"

There was a short silence, and then someone asked:

"why?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe! I guess Rogers and associates are not really popular after all, go figure. They either lack morals or manners… Or both, which doesn't make them the best houseguests, to say the least


	6. What are you worth, Exvengers?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are Cap's cult followers going to be useful, then? Let us see about that...

"Why? What do you mean why? We're the Avengers!"

"So we need you because you're the Avengers because we need you? Nice circular thinking going on, here, mate " The man was dressed almost all in red with black accents... And quite heavily armed, too. He vaulted on stage and stuck a pose.

"Name's Deadpool, honey... Yeah, and Wilson too, but, ya know, I thought it might get confusing, so we'll stick with Deadpool... Lieutenant Deadpool?"

"You were never a Lieut, Wade." A stocky guy with competition sideburns interjected from the public.

"Aww shucks, Wolvie! HE didn't know that... And he's not a real Captain anyway, so what? We can all be Kentucky colonels and sell fried chicken."

"Not a Captain? Of course he's a Captain! He's Captain America, for Christ’s sake! Are you insane?" Sam exclaimed. The other pondered that for a few seconds before giving a very gallic shrug.

"Well, yes. Duh. And what's YOUR excuse for following star-spangled asshole here like a bunch of idiotic ducklings?" He sighed theatrically before pursuing in an upbeat manner "But since it's by now well-established you're morons, let us all see what you lot can bring to the table besides that, okay?"

He didn't exactly wait for an answer before grabbing a gun and pointing at both Scott and Sam, who froze.

"You pair of goons depended on tech you stole for your powers. Like some people around here, I'm not opposed to stealing... But you really need to keep the loot to be interesting, ya know? Stark and Pym got their stuff back, you both are baseline humans, if of the particularly gullible variety. So, bye bye, be nice to the prison wardens and remember: Never, NEVER bent down to retrieve that soap bar, 'kay?"

There was clapping from the speakers bench, and a pair of Doombots appeared to escort both humans out. It was a bit of a kerfuffle, but in the end, both Scott and Sam left, before Wade, who'd found a perch on Loki's desk, carried on.

"Aren't we making fabbo progress here? Proud of me?" He asked Loki who laughed, stood, and smacked him on the ass. "Raaah, the magic touch!"

Barton made retching noises, which caught his attention.

"Ah, yes, the circus act. I almost forgot you. I really, REALLY want to ask: You heard that they made better long range weapons than bows now, right?"

"You don't understand." Clint said somewhat primly.

"Oh, but I do. I'm a fairly decent sniper myself, you know... Or don't know. Whatever. And I'm sure not the only one." He raised his voice a bit "Hey, guys, hands up those amongst you which would qualify as a sniper?"  
A forest of arms was raised... some with actual weapons. Deadpool shrugged.

"So, yeah, you may be good, but you're not exactly unique either. Some of us have even learned about guns, go figure. Pass."

Barton resorted to his usual insult spewing, which didn't seem to phase anyone. Deadpool turned to Loki "He's bad at it, isn't he?"

"It doesn't even rhyme." The God answered "But then, there was always limited talent there..."

Deadpool nodded wisely, but then seemed to remember something.

"Ah, yes, speaking of limited talent. Natalia Romanova... The Black Widow." He jumped down, kicked Barton in the face as the archer tried to jump him, and approached Natasha with very little fear, what could even be called bravado... or complete indifference.  
Or worse, as when Nat tried to look friendly, he copied the pose with a cackle before making kissy noises. Lifted his mask briefly, and snickered as Nat couldn't help the step back on seeing that ravaged face and took a combat stance.

"Always the same thing with the Black Widows, isn't it? The honeypot and then the kill. Girl, that's just about the oldest game in town, no wonder that program went down decades ago."

"You don't know that." Nat snapped, offended.

"Oh, but you told me... In fact, you told everyone here what a cliché you are when you dumped SHIELD's file for the world to read. What? You didn't think SHIELDRA had a file on you and the red room? Cm'on now, you're limited but not that much, surely?"

Then he began jumping up and down as he pointed at her "She did the blank face! She did! she did!"

Natasha saw the opportunity and used her Widows bites, but to her surprise, he only shuddered lightly "Ooooh, that tickles. Nice... And I'm pretty much unkillable, so don't bother.  
But back to you: Thanos is taken with Lady Death herself, so I very much doubt he'd settle for a second rate knockoff. I guess you could try your luck with a Chitauri, but I'm really not sure how useful it's gonna be." he mused.  
"Second, most of the beautiful ladies here can wipe the floor with a battalion of Marines, so yeah, you're a foot soldier at best.  
And between us? You're really a shitty spy."

"You don't know a thing about that." The Widow said disdainfully. That clown had no credential to judge her, obviously.

But he pirouetted and opened his arms to her as in welcome "But I do! So, okay, since I'm more or less immortal these days, I tend to skip that step of things, but I used to be military... OF COURSE I know about spying and stuff, duh! Enough at any rate to know that if the info you gather don't go towards the conclusion you want, you revise the conclusion, not the other way round."

"I never do that." Natasha said flatly, which earned her a snort

"Yeah, except when Stark and Rogers are concerned. You hate one and got your head so far up the other's ass it's not surprising you can't see a thing."

Natasha was getting downright insulted. She knew what she was doing. "Stark's ego ..."

"Gna gna gna. Yeah, Stark's got an ego. So have I, so has anyone here, in fact: Egos are like assholes, sweetheart, everybody's got one. You just don't like Stark because he didn't fall to your blatantly obvious manipulation tactics when you met, and you think you can do no wrong. Talk about blinders here, no wonder you're such a failure.  
On the other hand, you never saw that half of your colleagues were HYDRA goons for YEARS, so we're not precisely talking about a high bar here. In fact, the only spy skill set you really master is betrayal.  
But you're a bit heavy-handed on that one, honey, so no one trust you anymore. Soooo sad. Cry me a river."

Then he skipped around the stage till coming in front of Tony and friends, raised his arms, and asked "up?"

Tony smiled and whispered something to his neighbor, who nodded. The cloak took flight, wrapped him in its folds, and deposited him gently on Loki's desk again, where he lounged with a somewhat sexy pose.

"Speaking of people nobody trusts... Except the ones she brainwashes. Scarlet Witchy. Which, honestly surprised Harry Potter hasn't sued yet, 'cause you're REALLY giving witches a bad name here."

"Wanda is a good kid!" It's not as if Steve intervention impressed anyone, apparently, if the various catcalls, snorts, and in some cases quite raucous insults were any indications.

"Yeah, nobody asked you anything. But just to make it clear: When girls start to get boobies? They're not kids anymore... And in case you wondered, boobies are the bumps in front boys don't have... Unless far too many burgers."

He gestured to illustrate his point, as if Steve was THAT stupid, and then pointed at Wanda.  
"THAT, here, has boobs. So, not a child.  
As for the good part? May I remind everyone we have a Nazi VOLUNTEER right here."

"She was misguided, but she did it to save her country. One can volunteer to a German scientist to save their country." Steve felt he'd gotten the upper hand, that usually shut people up. But Deadpool snorted.

"That's serious bullshit, if for only one reason: Sokovia was in a CIVIL war, you idiot. Save her country from whom? The other guys who also wanted to save their country? For a supposed tactical genius, you're sure missing the obvious."

"You don't know that."

"Oh, God, are you that stupid?" He then asked the world at large "Is he that stupid?" Which elicited a murmur of agreement in the crowd "I'm a Merc, Captain Dumb. Yeah, yeah, look all righteous and indignant, but civil wars are the bread and butter of that business, I know one when I see one."

"It's a nasty business" Steve said, mustering his best *Captain America Disapproves* face.

It usually worked.

"So? See if I care, Mr the Best Hands Are Our Owns. We're not all that different. But let's go back to the little monster here."

"I'm NOT a monster!" Wanda cried indignantly, as she looked on the verge of tears "Stark is the monster! He killed my parents!"

"Yeah, no. Stark never set foot in Sokovia before going in that HYDRA base where you mind raped him, it's a matter of public record." Deadpool countered." He didn't kill your parents, he wasn't even there."

"His bombs did, it's the same thing." Wanda hissed, and hissed some more as Wade made a buzzer sound.

"Nah." he struck a thinking pose as he considered the remaining ExVengers "I don't get you people: You were all in the business of killing others, or even torturing them, most often than not up close and personal. No judging here from me, I was in the same bizz, if a bit more... Independent. Stark and his enterprise supplied the gear... But somehow he's the morally corrupt one and you're as pure and innocent as the newborn lamb? Ever thought of entering the Olympics in the Mental Gymnastics category?"

"He made that killer robot" Barton supplied.

"Doom has looked into this" Came from the Speakers bench "Stark is famous in the scientific world for his AIs and robotics, so when one went astray, Doom was intrigued and made inquiries. It showed that ULTRON had not much to do with Stark. The sentience of the mind stone high jacked his tech to further its objectives, but Stark did not make ULTRON. The ULTRON program was not viable, the sentience just liked the name, so it took it."

"How do you..."

"Oh, piss off." One blue suited man interjected from a bench on the right side "Victor and I have our differences, but I'll be the first to acknowledge he knows what he's talking about in robotics. If he says Stark didn't manufacture it, that's good enough for me."

"Thank you, Reed."

Steve was not going to let go that easily, though "Well, he shouldn't have tinkered with that thing, then."

"Why don't you ask your pet witch about that, then, Cap?"

"Bruce?" Yes, it was Bruce, but he was looking distinctly unhappy and somewhat green around the edges. "Don't *Bruce* me, Rogers. I was Tony's lab partner, we'd talked about the scepter before, and none of us wanted to get our hands on the thing. Then we get mind whammies by the HYDRA bitch and suddenly can't wait. How strange."

"You should have talked to me about it." Bruce rolled his eyes. Hard. "Why? You don't understand tech, Rogers. You made it VERY clear you weren't interested any and every time Tony talked about his work."

"Yes, but as the Leader of the Aveng..."

"Bullshit. Nobody named you the leader of the Avengers. You just assumed it was your position and ran with it. But that's not the point. Hydra bunker had CCTV, so we know Barbie here had a hand in it. But as the good little Hydra she is, she just let you all blame Tony. As you were all happy to do." Bruce sat down and took a few deep breaths.

"Besides, even if we could neglect the body count... Which is ALSO higher than mine, go figure" Loki's voice was sweet, almost sunny "There's the fact that as a magic user, she's wholefully incompetent. As she's demonstrated time and time again. She has very minimal control over her abilities and NO regards to whom she may destroy in the process. In fact, one could conclude that destruction IS part of the process, as it so prevalent."

"I concur." Tony's hair clone added. As Steve looked that way, he could also catch that red cape giving him the finger behind its owner's back, which, rude.

"Thank you, Dr Strange" Loki answered as Wanda frowned and asked "What does that mean?"

Loki smiled and was visibly happy to provide an answer "It means you're an uneducated and incompetent little bitch who flunked powers she shouldn't have, and we're going to do something about it, what did you think?"

Wanda shrieked in fury and sent a crimson wave toward Loki as Deadpool took a dive from his perch with well honed self-preservation. But the mage didn't seem to mind as the red tentacles hit him. In fact, he smiled... And the magic turned green on contact.  
Then the green flowed back to Wanda, who tried to extricate herself, but obviously couldn't.

"No! What are you doing!?" Steve went to the rescue, but one of the fully green ropes of light disentangled briefly from Wanda and slammed him back with no little force. The others froze, as Loki answered with a sunny smile.

"Taking back what is mine, obviously.  
Oh, don't look like that. Thanos and the Other tortured me to the brink of death, leeching my magic to cage and twist the mind stone, AND to build what was both my weapon and my leash, since I was barred from using my own. They found it very funny" The God added in a tone that didn't bode well for Thanos and whoever sided with him. 

He was also looking better, even younger, and as the final wisps of green left Wanda to come back to him, there was a sense of *presence* that one could usually feel around Thor, but not with him. There, was a God.

A not completely happy one, as a disgusted expression crossed his face when he looked at Wanda "What have you done with my poor magic, you uneducated peasant? You contaminated it with stupidity and betrayal... there, there" he added as the green light swirled around him first taking the form of snakes and then merging into a cat who hissed at Wanda before crawling up the God's arms in an obvious bid to be petted.

Barton made a retching noise which was ignored by all, Wanda sobbed her eyes out and Steve was feeling indignant. "You have no right to steal Wanda's powers!"

"But that is the point, isn't it? They were not HER powers, they were MINE to begin with. You seem under the impression, my dear Captain, that when someone takes something from you, it's a heinous crime, but when you or your bunch steal something, it's your God given right. Well, not this God, and not today."

"And what will happen to Wanda now?"

A small smirk "What she deserves, I suppose. Considering she's not enhanced anymore, it is not our problem. But this is the UN, so I can guarantee a fair trial, if nothing else."

"No, you can't!" What would happen to poor Wanda in the hands of those corrupt people? Steve thought. She was just a kid! It was soo unfair to... Wait wha...?  
But Steve didn't have time to dwell as that guy Doom clapped again and a bot clambered to get Wanda away. She didn't go gracefully, as she kicked, screamed, sobbed, pleaded for Cap to rescue her. He made a move, but Loki's magic jumped off her master's arm, grew to tiger size as it posted itself between them, and growled.

"What are you so afraid of, my dear Captain?" Loki asked sweetly "As a matter of fact, the UN does protect children, and POW, and war refugees. If miss Maximoff is what you claim she is, she has nothing to fear." The door closed with a bang behind the ex-witch and her escorting doombot, Loki's magic climbed back for a cuddle, using a giggling Deadpool as a ladder."

"But Wanda..."

"Is a special snowflake, we got it, captain dumb. Say, for someone who's famous about fighting Hydra, you sure get attached to their assassins."

"It wasn't Bucky's fault!"

"And they say I'm insane, but you're a fucking broken record: "she's a good kid!" "It wasn't Bucky!" "I'm right and you're wrong!" "It's ALL Tony's fault!" "You need us!"" Deadpool snorted "We've seen your cult followers are just about useless in the coming war, but what about YOU, oh great Captain America? 

... Oh, wait, I guess we'll see that in the next chapter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can always count on Deadpool to make things fun, even if they're not.  
> And before anyone asks, yes, Loki's magic is his own, but it also has it's own personality (and cloak needs a playmate now that Mjolnir is gone. Sniff!)


	7. Cappy, Cappitty Cap!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Rogers turn on the Deapool grill! With a side dish of "I don't give a crap about you" from Tony. With salt. Enjoy!

"Uh?" Steve was wondering if this was a nightmare. If that was the case, he needed to wake up soon. "Why do I have to endure this insane individual?"

"Because nobody else wanted to do it, that's why.  
I can relate: I spent years trying to communicate with you and your minions, and got shit to show for it. Worst investment I ever made."

Stark was silently betting with himself as the answers came back:

"Tony..."

"Must you be so petty, Stark?"

"You need to watch your ego, remember, Stark."

*OK, I won* Before answering in a cold, hard voice.  
"Fuck you. All of you. I had years of you lot shitting on me, the exasperated *Tony...*, the ego thing, the less and less veiled insults as time went by.  
My turn.  
Barton, yes, I must be so petty. Weird, but fraud, theft, lies, and finally attempted murder are not forgivable offenses in my book. Must be my ego, surely...  
Oh, wait, that's also against the law.  
And by the way, Romanoff, psych evals made by murderer moonlighting as occasional prostitute doesn't have much weight, except in your own eyes."

"Tony..."

The billionaire seriously rolled his eyes (and he was not the only one), then pinned Steve with a glare.  
Cap stood his ground but felt a chill coursing his spine as he'd never seen the brunette's eyes so cold and sharp. Fleeting, there was the thought that he may have made a mistake.

"You have NO idea how irritating this is.  
That tone of smug superiority, and the absolute, permanent belief you're in the right.  
The way you set yourself as judge and jury of everything and everyone around you... And the way you need to let us know even when... no, wait... ESPECIALLY when nobody asked you.  
But knowing what you are, deep down? Talk about irony."

The sneer that came... and stayed on To... Stark's face had Steve taking a step back this time. He'd always thought that the "Merchant of Death" thing was something silly the media had come up with, but right now?  
One thing was sure, the man standing there was NOT his friend. But well what could he do? If Steve didn't know Tony, in the end, it also meant that Tony didn't know him.

"You're a fucking compulsive liar, Cap. Also, a douche and a moron."

"You obviously don't know who I am. Also, language." The retort was immediate.

"Don't care. Also, piss off.  
And I also don't care about the fairy tale that has been told for decades and you benefited from, and look at facts: Every time you deemed something important enough, you lied to get it.  
Every. Single. Fucking. Time.  
You lied to get into the Army, you lied to get on Eskrine program, you lied to all and sundry to get operation Save Bucky part 1 rolling.  
Then you lied to SHIELD about been okay, but we'll let that one pass, since SHIELDRA lied right back at ya.  
You lied about being appointed the Avengers leader.  
You sure lied about being a captain.   
And once your Precious pinged on the radar, it was a festival.  
Lied to me for years while you looked for my parents murderer on my dime, lied to that bunch of idiots, lied to T'Challa, lied to the entire world with a side dish of "fuck you" so you could get your BFF back.  
Not to mention your inclusion of the HYDRA bitch as a precedent for turning a Hydra operative into an Avenger. I guess the fact she hated my guts was only a side benefit.  
The man with a plan. Literally. The man with A plan. Lie, and if that doesn't work, just hit it till it doesn't move anymore. Rinse, repeat."

"Tony, you know I never meant to... I wrote you a letter explaining why... I said I was sorry, and..." Steve interjected, but the cynical laugh cut it short.

"No you wrote me a letter saying you were sorry I didn't see how wrong I was, and you'd be there (with your minions) when I'll be ready to roll over so you could wipe your feet on me once again. Tough titty, THAT is over and done with. I don't owe you anything.  
If anyone owes anybody anything here, it's you lot... The time and money I spent to make your gear, house you, feed you..."

"It's not as if you needed the money" Barton snarled.

"And? I'm rich, so I'm supposed to finance you down to buying your underwear? I was holding three or four jobs while you lot lounged in luxury, not doing a lick of work, and I was the lazy rich boy. Cute."

"We were doing Avenger work." Natasha said, but Stark snorted.

"Which strangely mostly consisted in using my tech behind my back to find Precious.  
Otherwise, you rarely dragged your asses out of my sofas.  
Certainly never to find means to support yourself in any way. The underwear? I have bills to prove it.  
But back to you, Rogers. As a strategist, you're not worth more than "go hit", and strength wise, quite a lot of people here can do better. You destroyed your own legend, so even as a PR puppet, you're worth shit..."

"yeah" Deadpool drawled "Ya got followers, but it's either teenagers hypnotized by Chris Evans butt, or basement dwellers with no life that spend the times shoutin' TEAM CAP! on a fanfiction site. Not exactly the cream of the crop there, Cappy darling. Most people with more than a pair of neurons are team Iron Man, ya know? Hell, Chris Evans is team Tony!"

A lot of people were looking at him with stunned expression, but, well, Wade was used to it by now.  
He clapped his hands sharply. "Okay then, let's recap: You're morons, can't be trusted, lazy, righteous assholes, and on top of that, mostly useless. What are we supposed to do with you, eh?" Wade stuck a thinking pose.

"We are going to fight Thanos and win" Steve said with all the power he could muster "That's why we're the Avengers."

It took a lot to make Wade speechless, always had, even for a few seconds "Who are you and what have you done with Cappy?" He turned to look at Prof X, who looked pensive, and made his question clear: "uh?"  
The Professor shook his head: "It's not what he wanted to hear, so the last hour didn't happen. This... is almost psychotic, this level of delusion."

Loki had a knowing smirk before turning to stark "My condolences"

"But we're the Avengers!"

"Yeah, but no one wants you on their team. So, either we sent you to the Antarctic and hope we won't get sued by a bunch of penguins... Or..."

"Or?"

"I'll do you a favor: If you lot can best me, three to one, I'll let you on my team. How's that?"

"I agree" said Steve.

"Okay then. Three two one ignition!"


	8. Oops, sorry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!

"So, what happened?"

Guy de Barrempied smiled over his teacup rim. For *plausible deniability* reasons, Lady Granville couldn't watch it live.   
Himself being an officially minor official, he was much less likely to be asked anything (and if he was, he'd lie, it wouldn't be the first... or the last time).   
And he arranged everything, so he sure wanted a front row seat... or in this case, a private security feed.

Loki had found out, but only smirked a bit and magicked the thing up to full color HD and Dolby surround. Best seat in the house.

As a result, and because plausible deniability doesn't mean one is not curious, he was now having tea with the Honorable who was at the moment quite literally on the edge of her seat with curiosity. She had even provided a full English tea, a blatant bribe.  
Guy took a bite of a delightful scone with all the toppings, and decided to stop playing coy.

"Well, Deadpool may be insane..."

"Maybe?"

"... But he certainly knows what he's doing when he gets down to business." he put down his cup and fished for his phone "Turns out that the super soldier serum is no match for a high velocity, explosive bullet... As long as it's right in the brain. Instant brain soup, instant death."

"Ewww"

"Not really. Turns out his super hard head was strong enough to contain the explosion... Just..." Guy turned his phone and Lady Granville risked a peak...  
And couldn't help a somewhat strangled giggle: Here was Captain America looking his righteous best, then a red stain appear right between the eyes, and he just... falls like an empty puppet. But the best bit was the truly surprised expression on his face just before that.

"This is..." Lady Granville couldn't quite find the word.

"Super funny and somewhat anticlimactic both? Yeah, nobody really thought something as basic as a bullet that could off the famed *Captain America*. And you want the full irony? That's SI ammo, Deadpool has been saving it for a *special occasion*. I heard him buttering up to Stark afterwards, *just in case he had a box or two left somewhere, Hammer stuff was just subpar*"

The Honorable let out a delicate snort at that "And the other two?"

"Oh, well, it was over fast: The Spider saw how it was going, threw the Archer in Deadpool's path and tried to scuttle away. I don't think Barton fully realized he was impaled on a katana before it was too late, and Wilson shot the other one before she'd taken five steps."

"In the back?" Guy smirked a little at the somewhat shocked tone.

"Deadpool is a mercenary, Honoria dear, not a knight. Anyway, it was over in less than two minutes. Took longer for Loki to appease the assembly."

"They were shocked?"

"One or two, maybe. Mostly it was because nobody had time to put down bets." Guy corrected. Lady Granville blinked twice, and then went back to business.

"And what do we say about all that? This really doesn't look good on the UN."

Guy shrugged, unconcerned.

"*Oops, sorry* should do it. It's not as if anybody really cares, in the end. Sure, some maniacs in the States are still having a hard on over the Legend, but they're not exactly numerous, if vocal. And it's not like if the rest of the planet gives a damn. If they're getting unruly, we'll implement the plan, that's all."

"Maybe we should implement it anyway. Sokovia is going to get that witch on public trial for her crimes, South Africa and Nigeria want a bite too. Having that publicized so people see what kind of person Rogers was willing to not only support, but indulge, should quell most of the unrest. From what I could surmise anyway, his most ardent supporters are those gun toting, conspiracy theorist, they have there in the colonies." Lady Granville mused "Since those people are going to get some bona fide aliens to shoot at soon, I guess they're going to be too busy preparing to make waves anyway. Yes, this should do."

"Can we say case closed, then?" Guy de Barrempied asked as he stood and checked his lapels for crumbs.

"Mostly." Said Lady Granville while closing the folder pertaining the case on the side. "But then, it was only a small problem, wasn't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, it went kind of fast, right? But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that Captain Douche, minus shield, was not going to last long in front in front of the un killable, walking (and sure talking) armory that is Deapool.
> 
> And the over two? Just cleanup.
> 
> Speaking of cleanup, I hope you read it and are foaming at the mouth. You know who you are. Cheers!


End file.
